JoePa's Doghouse
18Oct/121

You Might Be An Iowa Fan…

jeff foxworthy

For far too long, Iowa has been a nuisance on Penn State’s schedule. Thankfully, times they are a-changin’. With the new coaching staff comes a fresh attitude. No longer will we be afraid of those darn Hawkeyes. No longer will we drink milk and pet kittens in their pink locker rooms. No more 6-4 crap!!! Things change starting now!!!

Accordingly, this week we’re going to do something different here too. We’ve come up with some signs that you might be an Iowa fan. See if any apply to you.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here goes....

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN…

If your favorite soup is Tobacco Bisque….

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If your wedding reception was at a truck stop…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If your stag party involves actual deer…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN

stag party

Deer like racks too...


If you’ve ever walked backwards through a corn field…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If your tattoo has a tattoo on it…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If you describe your mullet as "7 rat tails hanging out"...

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If the song “Sister Christian” makes you horny for a pious sibling…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If you think a Dear John letter is how a dyslexic person writes to a tractor company…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If your favorite color is a tie between camouflage and flannel…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If your idea of French cuisine is eating fries at a McDonalds in Des Moines…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN

If the phrase “my double wide has a spare tire” refers to your home AND your wife’s gunt…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If @blerms has ever made fun of you…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


If the concept of an electric toothbrush blows your friggin mind…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN

frankenstein

Yes, Iowa. The electric toothbrush was created the same way Frankenstein's Monster was.


Lastly, if your team has less points than Penn State on Saturday…

YOU MIGHT BE AN IOWA FAN


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About Rowlff Dogg

Of all the doghouses in all the towns in all the world, you walked into Rowlff Dogg's.
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  1. @blerms is low-key famous for hating Iowa!


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